Includes bibliographical references (pages 313-329) and index.

In her early-twenties, while thriving in her dream job, enjoying warm familial support and a strong social network of friends and colleagues, Anna found herself trapped by feelings of failure and despair. In September 2011, she made her first attempt to kill herself by ingesting a deadly mix of sleeping pills and antifreeze, landing her in the ICU followed by weeks of enforced detention in two different big-city psych wards. This was Anna's entry point into the labyrinthine psychiatric care system--one that is nominally responsible for providing the best reasonable care to millions of Canadians suffering from severe, life-threatening mental illness. Her first stay in the psych ward--at times horrifying, other times boring, hilarious and absurd--was just the beginning of a long recovery and a journey towards understanding, first-hand, the myriad ways our systems and medical practitioners treat--and fail to treat--a disease that afflicts a full fifth of the population. While trying to be a good patient, Anna cannot help but turn her intrepid journalist's eye on the world around her--in the psych ward, as an outpatient, as a survivor enduring the gruelling ordeal of facing concerned family, friends and co-workers; of finding the right meds, the right therapist; of staying insured and employed. Anna's personal account of life in the shadow of self-obliteration explores in searing detail her individual experience of depression, close encounters with fatal self-harm, and the trials and errors of treatment.